At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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