I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize