thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
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I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
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figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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