Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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