I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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