I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize