He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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