bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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