The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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