Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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