A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize