I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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