thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize