Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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