i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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