Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize