the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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