wakey wakey hands off snakey
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize