come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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