I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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