Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize