is your mom at the bar?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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