i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's rum buckets o'clock
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize