god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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