Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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