Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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