Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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