he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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