I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
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