i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize