how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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