I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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