i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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