I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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