I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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