Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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