Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize