Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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