my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
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Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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