I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was like eating out sand paper
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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