She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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