You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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