My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize