youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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