In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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