Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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