i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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