we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
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You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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