I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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