You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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