I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Damn victory sex feels great
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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