i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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